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Aww, what's the matter, Horn?

BUAHAHAHA!!! Ah, alpine humor... O_o uh, it's the Matterhorn, see? Get it?

Oh, nevermind. You'll have to pardon me tonight. I haven't been the same since I drove off to acting class tonight with my iPad on top of my car. Of course, it tumbled off the back and into the road behind me... not something I ever wanted to see in my rear view mirror... I went back and got (what was left of) it from the middle of the road. Smashed, scratched, dented, broken... and still working... though it breaks my heart to look at it. The shame of it!

It hurt on several levels, actually... not just because it's been in my hand, and in use, every day since I got the blasted thing in the summer of 2010... it also unexpectedly touched a fear of mine. I think my deepest fear (if I may be so open before thee) has to do with my kids coming to harm through gross neglect on my part. I mean, I panic at the thought of it... and this episode pushed that button in me. And yes, I know it's stupid to relate the iPad to a child of mine, but on a small level, this was something that meant a lot to me, entrusted to my care (so to speak) and through distraction and neglect, it was basically ruined. I felt/feel so bad about it.

Don't worry, I'm trying to find the lesson in it all. Ultimately, the thing is easily replaced - in fact, I already have the iPad Mini that I barely use. It will be easy enough to convert it to my main unit, and probably better, too, ultimately. Still, I felt like such a cad, seeing it bouncing on the road behind me.

I should have kept it in the potty, where it belonged!

All things considered, a small problem.

Moving right along...

My Middle Daughter is graduating from high school in a couple weeks. Dang, where does the time go, eh? Man, I'm full of cliches tonight! Any moment, I'll start singing "As Time Goes By" or "It Was A Very Good Year"... anyway, she's my sweetie, and I love her forever (like my other two Sweeties, of course). Her post-high school plans include a trip to Hawaii, a summer by the pool, working part time at the mall, and going to a local college next fall. And (hopefully) more modeling gigs. That way she can make big $$$ and buy me lots of presents! Cuz I'm greedy like that!

Since I'm bragging on my kids, I should say that my Youngest Daughter (who is just finishing up second grade) tested out at a reading level of a kid going from fourth into fifth grade. Just saying, it was a smart move on my part to teach her lots of exotic words, like sphincter, gollywomper, and cowculator (it's what farmers use to count their cows... look it up...). I'm a great teacher like that...

Don't let the thumbnail fool you on this next video... the kid just looks angry, but it's an unfortunate freeze-frame. Trust me, it's pure comedy...



That's like the opposite of Bored Shorts. Cool kid. Tread carefully if you watch some of his other videos... pottymouth alert...

Beyond that, what shall I say? Still plugging along in the areas I've mentioned here before, ad nauseum. You don't want to hear about that again, I'm sure. Trust me, if I had something interesting to say, I would do that, right here and now. But I don't! The acting classes, the screenplay writing, the novel writing, my reading materials, watching the Inside the Actors Studio episodes, etc... all moving forward, all of great interest to me, but what's that to you? Other than a mild, general sense of being happy for me that things are progressing well in those areas, what else could I possibly hope for from you all, eh? You've all got your own stories and problems and interests...

In fact, that reminds me of a clip I saw today... brace yourself, this one will pull a tear or two from your eye...



Powerful. Wish there had been more good news shown...

Hmm, that's kind of hard to follow with nonsense. I think I'll leave it here for tonight.

Hope your weekend is a great one.

Adios for now,

Dave the Goof

Scatter My Ashes At Starbucks

Smack dab in the middle of the weekend as I string these letters together to dance before you. And Part Two of my wife's birthday-related activities is in the can.

For Part One, on May first, we went on one of those Harbor Cruises where they serve you dinner and you eat and check out the downtown lights from the water for a couple hours...

Ah, the happy couple... 

Our view from the table, looking out at the bay at dusk. 

It was much cooler while it was still light outside. Once it became night, all you saw was black and a scattering of lights... if we do this again, we'll do a brunch cruise, or some such, so we can look at the water the whole time.

There weren't many on the cruise the night we went. Most of the tables were empty - there might have been a dozen diners total, all couples, of course. So it was like having the boat to ourselves. See that champagne bottle there? I ended up downing that bottle by myself, lol. Wifey said it made her head hurt, and I didn't want to waste it! Besides, it's just champagne, right? Wrong. I was feeling it, for sure.

All things considered, I had a terrific evening, and Wifey enjoyed it as well.

Part Two of Wifey's birthday celebration we did today, as I said. There was a documentary that came out today, the trailer for which I watched a few weeks back. I immediately knew Wifey would enjoy it greatly, so I kept it a secret from her and waited for the release date (May 10) to see if it would be opening somewhere in San Diego or not. It's called "Scatter My Ashes at Bergdorf's", and it's about the history of the ultra-high-end NYC retail store Bergdorff-Goodmans, on 5th Avenue in New York. Here's the trailer...



Well, it wasn't playing in San Diego, but there were four theaters in LA that were showing, the closest one being in Irvine, about 1.25 hours drive away. Bought tickets, and we drove up today. Great movie, I enjoyed it greatly, but more importantly, so did Wifey. It was another good call on my part! We ate pizza afterwards at a little pizza place called Blaze Pizza, which was terrific as well. Then we drove back, happy.

So both events I was able to keep secret, remarkably, and she enjoyed both as well. So score one for me this year.

I'll probably still have to buy her some shoes at some point, lol...

OK, what else?

I've decided to stop making newsletters for my graphic's clients. I've been making them for over a decade now, and though the steady money is nice, the weight of having to make them is constant, and I think I'm ready to stop. I wrote an email to my main client, explaining my situation, thanking him profusely for the chance to be involved for so long, and saying I will gladly help him transition into a new newsletter creator (help training, etc) if needed. Looks like it will be smooth. Now to contact the other clients and see how it goes with them!

Still limping my way through Under Heaven by Guy Gavriel Kay.

Acting classes are getting good again - I think my mindset and expectations are evolving so rapidly, it's hard to keep up. I trust that's a sign that I'm making speedy progress or something. This past class we performed scenes from the George Clooney film called Michael Clayton (which I've never seen before), and it was a good, solid time.

Hey, a funny anecdote about the class - trust me, this is good, and it has a cool point. Anyway, in one of the Michael Clayton scenes being performed by two fellow classmates, the instructor said (after the first run-through) that when they performed it again, one of the characters was going to slap the other one. He pulled the "slapper" into the other room, and together they decided when he would slap his co-actor. So none of us watching knew when the slap would occur, and neither did the one getting slapped. When it happened, it was a real slap, not faked. It was quite a shocker, really... and it did something amazing. It unlocked something in the dude that got slapped, and his performance that run through was much, much better than before... he was on edge the whole time, trying to act the scene, and not knowing when the slap would happen... and when it did, his reactions were so genuine, the scene just sailed...

It was really something. But now the punchline. The instructor, Steve, didn't do it for comic relief, or to pick on the guy getting slapped. He said, "All of you... you need to act every scene you're in as though you may get slapped at any moment." The idea being, it keeps you so rooted in the action of the moment, you don't have time to settle into the comfort zone of 'knowing everything that is going to happen ahead of time,' and playing 5 moves ahead in your mind, like chess, etc. It forces you to play to "right now", and to give/receive fresh, genuine responses, as though the whole scene is really happening for the very first time, right now, before us.

Don't know how that strikes you (no pun intended) but it was a real eye-opener. That was worth the price of admission right there.

I don't know if any of you read My Utmost for His Highest (Oswald Chambers) as a devotional, but the May 10th entry (called Take the Initiative) just about blew me over, it was so strong. I normally don't like to copy text into here, since it's hard to resist the urge to skim over it... I mean, I'm supposed to be writing the blog post myself, not foisting someone else's words upon you, right? But I'm going to post a portion of it here, in case someone would like to discuss it in the comments sections...

--------------------------

Take the Initiative

"...add to your faith virtue..." (2 Peter 1:5)

Add means that we have to do something. We are in danger of forgetting that we cannot do what God does, and that God will not do what we can do. We cannot save nor sanctify ourselves— God does that. But God will not give us good habits or character, and He will not force us to walk correctly before Him. We have to do all that ourselves. We must “work out” our “own salvation” which God has worked in us (Philippians 2:12). Add means that we must get into the habit of doing things, and in the initial stages that is difficult. To take the initiative is to make a beginning— to instruct yourself in the way you must go.... Beware of the tendency to ask the way when you know it perfectly well.

-----------------------------

Man, there's so much here in these few sentences, it's hard to know where to start. Or even if I should start! Heck, it may be enough for you just to read it like I did, mouth slightly open, feeling like someone is slapping you during your scene, lol. I especially thought that final line was a tooth-loosener... asking the way when you already know it perfectly well... ouch.

I think I'll just leave this topic here for now, lest I weaken it by cluttering it up with my own words.

All that to say, these be interesting days for me. I'm looking forward to seeing the Spring segue into Summer, and what that brings with it...

Adios for now,

Dave, on a roll...

In Which I Apologize Profusely To Logan (Among Other Things)....

Hello again... so nice to see you again! And yes, I can, in fact, see you... the latest version of Google Earth is extremely powerful! You need to floss, by the way... a little piece of lettuce between your #7 incisor and your #8 canine... it isn't the most attractive look for you, no offense...

Speaking of flossing, holy mackerel... since getting braces on, flossing has become such a complex production, I'm thinking of turning it into an off-Broadway one-man show. And I only have braces on the top teeth at this point! On the 23rd of this month, I get them on the bottom teeth as well. And then, o buddy, it is ON. Man, they're hard on the inside of my lips... whoever invented 'braces wax' should get his/her own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Or at least a hearty handshake and a clap on the back.

You know, normally I don't like to talk about bracism, but lately I've been seeing bracists everywhere. I mean, come on, people! What decade are we in? We should be well beyond this by now! People are people, regardless of the condition of their teeth! We need to end bracism NOW.

And now, here to share more on the subject... Mr. Foster Brooks...



OK, fine, that was a little off-topic, sorry...

What am I reading lately, you may ask? Well, I'm about 20% through Under Heaven, by Guy Gavriel Kay. I'd never read anything by Kay before, and he's one of the revered names in fantasy, so I decided the time had come. The writing is solid, no nonsense, well crafted. The premise is fascinating, and the far east setting a fresh change of pace from the traditional medieval "swords and dragons" setting (not that I mind that too much to begin with). I've hit a lull in the action, however, and it's dragging a bit... but I anticipate it picking up again soon... I hope... I'd hate to bail out on Mr. Kay, after having waited so long to give him his day in the sun...

In other book news, I misunderstood the way Good Reads displays its information, and spoiled Red Country for blog friend Logan... it was an honest mistake! I thought it said he'd finished the book and rated it three stars, like I did! And I've been dying to talk to someone about the book since I read it last year... but the rating was actually my rating, and the "finished reading" mark was about MY having finished it! Not Logan! So I sent him a message with some spoilers in it, by way of initiating discussion. Ouch. Man, there's nothing worse than that. There's no more trying way to push a friendship to the breaking point than to spoil a long-anticipated book for someone, unintentional or not!

That just means I'll have to be extra generous with him when Christmas comes around this year. I figure by that time, he might be speaking to me again...

On my Kindle at the moment, I have 30 full books, 31 "free chapters" samples, and 7 non-fic books on writing/acting craft, all vying for my attention. Authors include: Martha Wells, Mike Vasich, Neal Stephenson, Matthew Stover, Ken Scholes, Brandon Sanderson, Naomi Novik, Jeff Salyards, Paul Kearney, L.E. Modesitt Jr., Glynn James, Hugh Howey, Robin Hobb, Richard Ford, David Gemmell, Alex Dain, Orson Scott Card, James S.A. Corey, and Bradley Beaulieu, to name a cross section. I could read for a year solid and not cover all of the books and samples on my Kindle...

Hey, speaking of artists named "Bradley" (nice segue!)... remember that time on the Inside the Actors Studio that featured Sean Penn, when a then-student Bradley Cooper asked Sean Penn a question during the Q&A section at the end? Remember?



That was in Season Five. And in Season Seventeen, Bradley was the guest himself! See? See how cool life is, eh?

I've seen Bradley Cooper in other early episodes as well... he has like a two-second spot in the Robert DeNiro episode, where the camera randomly cut to him (like it does throughout each episode periodically, grabbing random faces).

Speaking of the series, I've been making my way through the episodes again, as I mentioned previously, taking notes. There have been some surprises... mostly of the disappointing kind. Certain episodes, like Benicio del Toro, Johnny Depp, Bruce Willis and Martin Sheen were shockingly lacking in actual craft talk... instead, they spent most of the time retrospectively covering careers, which is interesting in its own way, but when you're watching with an eye toward gleaning practical, applicable acting advice, it's disappointing.

The funny thing about Benicio and Johnny Depp... they are both obviously skilled A-list actors, capable of remarkable performances... and yet it seems to be mostly instinctual for them... they couldn't really explain how they did any of it. There were a few nuggets I had to reword a little to get them to make sense. Johnny said that "satisfaction is death for an actor", which is definitely something to chew on. He also said you need to remember the power of stillness and silence... to communicate as much as you possibly can without words. Also a good nugget. Benicio said that the key is to understand and play to the strengths of the character... what is the thing that your character wants, and why? I can understand that concept. But beyond those nuggets, there wasn't much of substance there.

Another funny one was the DeNiro episode, which was kind of an awkward debacle, since the host, James Lipton was so beside himself with glee at interviewing DeNiro, he tried to get too clever with the leading softball questions, and DeNiro was not having any part of that. It was funny, really, especially since Lipton didn't seem to realize (or care?) that it was happening. He kept trying to lead DeNiro into giving these strong, meaningful replies, but DeNiro wasn't one for being manipulated. It was fun and awkward to watch.

Enough acting talk!

That... is a remarkable photo. Are those walkways along the arms, with people on them? Or is that my imagination? The statue can't be THAT big, can it? Bah, that must just be seams in the statue, where sections are joined... or maybe it's a walkway for maintenance crews or something...

OK, to end tonight's post, here's Noah Guthrie covering "When I Was Your Man" by Bruno Mars...



That's that, eh!

Adios for now,

Dave the Long-Winded

PS Sorry again Logan... O_O

What Year Was It When I Started This Post..?

Well, hello there! Yes, you, right there, in the purple flower-patterned mu-mu and straw purse, driving the '64 Beetle. How does that thing still run, by the way? But, yeah, the straw purse and the fake pearls really work with the eye shadow. Nice. Don't see that look on a dude in this neighborhood too often. You have courage, I'll say that...

So, there's this guy named Dave, and, yeah, it's me. Goofy, slouchy, slightly pudgy, sizable nose... but the snaggleteeth are on their way out! Awww, yeah! Hey, I can't do anything about the nose, but the teeth are on their way to perfection! And then... then you'll love me again...

Maybe...

So, here's something you have to respect. I drove with my dad 15.5 hours in one shot, from Medford Oregon to San Diego, BOOM! Like a boss! Flew up to see my dad on Sunday, to help him drive his stuff back down to San Diego, since he's moving back here. Flew up out of LAX, no less, which was a separate adventure, and stayed the night in Medford... then we hit the road at 6am in his Malibu, towing a little U-Haul trailer, and never looked back. We actually planned on stopping somewhere along the way and staying the night, to break the trip into two pieces... but we sailed along, nary a hiccup, and at the half-way mark in our trip, it was barely noon, and we saw no reason to stop with half the day left... so we pushed on... hit LA before it was even dark... not a hint of traffic the whole trip, until the very end of the trip, just north of Escondido, where there was some road construction that I'd say added about 2 or 3 minutes to the trip as the lanes all merged down to a single lane...

6am to 9:30 pm. We owned it. Had some great conversation. My dad's an interesting bird. Took exactly zero pictures.

Anyway, t'was a good trip. Piece of cake. Lemon cake...



That's Will Sasso and a compilation of his lemon Vines...

Shoot.... I started this blog post at a reasonable hour, but got distracted by watching three Bill Burr stand-up specials on NetFlix Watch Instantly, back-to-back, and now it's 1:30 am... unfortunately, I have work in the am, so I will have to cut this post short. Lemme grab a funny photo or two from my archive, to add enough filler to make your visit seem worthwhile...

True... an Apache is stronger than love.

Here's another comic, religious humor this time...

OK, fine, maybe not... lemme find another comic...

Hmm.... a little too far out there again... lemme see if I have another...

Closer... lemme try one last time...

And we have a winner! Thank goodness for Left-Handed Toons!

OK, I have to go to sleep now, before I fall asleep on my keyboard and the drool results in sticky keys...

Adios for now,

Dave the Sleepyhead